School Basketball Tryouts: Not Making the Team Isn't the End

School Basketball Tryouts.. A range of emotions

School basketball tryouts can be one of the most exciting and most difficult parts of a young athlete's year. For some players, tryouts end with the excitement of hearing their name called. For others, they end with disappointment.

That can happen in elementary school, middle school, or high school. And while the circumstances may look different at each level, the feeling can be the same.

As a coach, I want to start by saying something that I hope every player who doesn't make the team understands:

Not making the team does not mean we don't see your value.

It does not mean you're a bad basketball player. It does not mean you don't belong in the gym. It does not mean you can't become a very good player.

And it certainly does not mean your basketball story is over.

There Are Only So Many Spots

One of the hardest parts of school basketball is that there are a limited number of spots.

We don't get to keep every player who tries out, even when we wish we could.

A team needs balance. Coaches have to consider positions, size, skill sets, athleticism, roles, and how players fit together within the system they want to run. That means sometimes a very good basketball player won't make the team.

That can be difficult to understand, especially for a young athlete who has worked hard and loves the game.

But there is an important distinction:

Not making this team is not the same thing as not being good enough to become the player you want to be.

Every young player is still developing. Everyone has a game identity, but some players simply haven't found theirs yet.

Maybe you're a player who hasn't figured out what you do best. Maybe you haven't developed physically yet. Maybe your basketball skills haven't caught up with your athletic ability. Maybe your confidence hasn't caught up with your skill.

Or maybe you simply need more time.

That's okay.

You have time.

Don't Let One Decision Define You

If you don't make the team, you are still the same person you were before tryouts.

You're still a son or daughter.

You're still a brother or sister.

You're still a friend.

You're still a student.

You're still someone with value.

And you're still a basketball player.

You just haven't reached your full potential yet.

That's not a bad thing. That's an opportunity.

I've seen athletes in previous years not make a team, continue working, get stronger, develop their skills, and eventually prove that they deserved to wear the uniform.

Sometimes it took one year.

Sometimes it took more than one.

But they didn't quit.

They kept showing up.

They kept playing.

They kept developing.

And eventually, they were competing.

Be the next kid to do that.

Don't Stop Playing

This is probably the most important thing I want to tell any player who doesn't make their school team:

Don't stop playing if you love basketball.

Use the season differently.

While your friends are playing school games, you have an opportunity to spend that same season getting better.

Find an AAU team.

Work with a coach or trainer.

Identify your weaknesses and attack them.

Get stronger.

Develop your athleticism.

Play another sport.

Learn how to compete.

Learn how to be part of a team.

Watch basketball.

Study players who play your position.

Learn the game.

Get in the gym and get reps.

There are so many ways to continue improving.

And then...

Try out again next year.

I have had players on high school teams who didn't play with us in middle school.

Think about that.

A school basketball roster decision did not determine where they ended up.

Your story can change a lot between fourth grade and fifth grade.

It can change even more between middle school and high school.

Don't let one tryout convince you that you know how your story ends.

Parents: Your Response Matters

Parents, I know this is hard.

As parents, we want to protect our kids from pain. When our child is disappointed, our instinct can be to fix it.

Sometimes that means blaming the coach.

Sometimes it means blaming the school.

Sometimes it means telling our child that the coaches were wrong or that they deserved to make the team.

I understand where that comes from.

But I would encourage you to resist that temptation. Your child is watching how you respond. If we immediately blame someone else, we can unintentionally teach our kids that disappointment is always someone else's fault. That the world is against them. That when something doesn't go their way, they should look for someone to blame.

That's not what we want for our kids.

We want them to become resilient adults.

And resilience doesn't develop when everything goes according to plan.

Resilience develops when something hurts and we learn how to respond.

That doesn't mean you should tell your child, "It's not a big deal."

It might be a very big deal to them.

Let them be disappointed.

Let them be frustrated.

Let them be sad.

Acknowledge that this hurts.

Then, when they're ready, help them ask a better question:

"What can we do now?"

That's where the opportunity begins.

Turn the Hurt Into Something Positive

If your child didn't make the team, don't immediately try to convince them that it doesn't matter.

Instead, show them that while it matters, it doesn't have to control what happens next.

Sit down together.

Ask what they want to improve.

Talk about what they believe held them back.

Find a coach or trainer who can help.

Build a plan.

Set some goals.

Then go to work.

The season that everyone else spends playing games can become your season of development. You can come back next year stronger, more skilled, more athletic, more confident, and more prepared.

And maybe the coaches will look at you differently.

Maybe you'll earn a spot.

Maybe you'll need another year.

But either way, you'll be better than you were before.

That's progress.

To the Kid Who Didn't Make the Team

If you're reading this after not making your school team, I want you to know something.

You aren't the first. And you definitely won't be the last.

I see you.

And your coaches see you.

I promise you, coaches don't find joy in telling a kid that they aren't going to be on the team. We want every kid to have an opportunity to play.

Unfortunately, rosters have limits.

Sometimes those decisions are incredibly difficult.

But your coach's decision about a roster does not determine your value as a person, it doesn't determine your future, and it doesn't determine how good you can become.

So don't walk away from the game because of one decision.

Use this season.

While other players are competing in games, sharpen your game.

Develop your body.

Build your athleticism.

Work on your weaknesses.

Learn the game.

Watch basketball.

Get around people who make you better.

And when next season comes around, give yourself another opportunity.

Maybe you'll make the team.

Maybe you'll surprise some people.

Maybe you'll prove your coaches wrong.

Honestly?

I hope you do.

Not because coaches enjoy being proven wrong, but because seeing a kid take disappointment and turn it into growth is one of the best parts of coaching.

Your job isn't to prove that the coaches made a bad decision.

Your job is to become so much better that the decision becomes impossible to ignore.

Keep working.

Keep playing.

Keep learning.

Keep believing.

This isn't the end of your basketball story.

It might just be the part where your story gets really good.