Is My Kid Falling Behind in Youth Sports? What Parents Really Need to Know

Coach Damron
Aug 1
4 min read

"The truth about falling behind in youth sports"

It’s one of the most common (and unspoken) fears that sports parents have:

“Is my kid falling behind?”

Maybe they just started the game later than others. Maybe they’re struggling with skills that teammates seem to have mastered. Or maybe they’re not getting as much playing time, and you’re wondering what’s really going on.

First of all: you’re not alone. I’ve had plenty of parents come to me with the same concern, unsure of how to help their child and unsure if they’re doing something wrong.

Before we can talk about solutions, we have to ask the right question:

Is this really a development issue… or is it a misalignment of expectations?

Physical Roadblock or Mental Roadblock?

Not all challenges are created equal.

When a parent tells me their child is behind, the first thing I want to know is why they think that. Are we talking about physical limitations? Or mental blocks like confidence, motivation, or focus?

It’s an important distinction, because the way we approach the issue depends on the root cause.

A kid who’s struggling with their shot mechanics might need better guidance and reps. A kid who’s checked out mentally might need a different kind of support altogether. But we can’t help either unless we listen first, to the athlete and to the coaches.

What "Catching Up" Really Looks Like

I’ve seen it happen. Athletes who look “behind” one season can be ahead the very next, simply because they decide to take ownership of their growth.

Two athletes I’ve personally witnessed come to mind. Both started off a little behind their peers.

But they worked. Quietly. Relentlessly. They played pickup, found extra reps, studied the game when others weren’t watching. They didn’t care who saw them, they just cared about getting better.

The next year? They made a leap. And the year after that, they weren’t just caught up, they were leading.

Work ethic isn’t magic. But it’s powerful.

Not All Early Stars Stay Stars

We see it all the time: kids who dominate in 5th or 6th grade and then fade out by high school.

In basketball, you’ve probably heard of Jashaun Agosto or Julian Newman. Internet-famous by middle school, but struggled to match the hype as they got older. Why? A few reasons: burnout, unrealistic expectations, and sometimes… they just stopped loving the game the same way.

Early success can be deceiving. What really matters is continued development, sustained hunger, and resilience through adversity.

Development Has Its Own Timeline

Here’s what most people forget:

Kids grow at different rates.. physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Some kids hit a growth spurt early and dominate because of size. Others develop late, which can force them to sharpen skills and vision that pay off down the road.

Anthony Davis was a point guard until his late growth spurt, now he’s one of the most versatile big men in the NBA. Development isn’t a race. It’s a winding road.

Visualization matters too. Athletes who watch the game (not just highlights) tend to grow faster. They understand spacing, timing, and decision-making better. And most importantly, desire matters. A driven kid will find a way.. rain, cold, no hoop? They’ll get creative.

That’s what sets the great ones apart.

Sometimes the Issue Isn't Development.. It's Desire

A lot of the time, when parents feel like their child is “behind,” it’s not really about skill or physical tools.

It’s about a difference in values.

The athlete might be totally content, while the parent is chasing a dream that isn't theirs. And that’s okay, as long as we recognize it.

It’s important to have that conversation. Ask your athlete:

Do you feel behind? Do you want more?

If they don’t, that’s not failure. That’s just clarity. Not every kid wants to go all-in on sports, and forcing it won’t help anyone.

What Should You Actually Be Watching For?

Instead of comparing your child to others, ask yourself:

Are they frustrated with their own progress, or are you?
Are they training consistently (more than once or twice a week)?
Do they watch full games, not just highlight reels?
Are they looking for ways to improve or compete?
Do you have to push them to train, or are they self-motivated?
Are they focused on just one sport already? (Spoiler: they probably shouldn’t be. Here’s why.)

These questions reveal way more about your athlete’s trajectory than stats or minutes ever could.

Support Without Pressure

If your child is struggling, your first instinct might be to jump in and fix it. But here’s what I recommend:

Talk with them, not at them. Ask: “What do you think we can do about that?” Let them problem-solve.
Don’t fuel their fire with frustration. The goal isn’t to create a bonfire. Just a steady flame.
Stay in sync. Make sure your vision and their vision match, or at least respect each other.

The Traits That Really Matter

The best athletes I’ve coached, the ones who succeed not just in sports, but in life, aren’t necessarily the most talented.

They’re the ones who show:

Gratitude for the process
Understanding of their role on a team
Resilience when things don’t go their way
Responsibility for their actions and growth

These are the traits that stick with them well beyond the court.

Final Thoughts: Redefining Success

Success in youth sports isn’t about being the best in 6th grade. It’s not about starting every game or getting the most points.

It’s about closing the gap between your performance and your potential.

And here’s the thing, no one really knows what your athlete’s full potential is. That’s the beauty of the journey. We keep pushing, not just to reach the finish line, but to become who we’re meant to be in the process.

So if you’re asking, “Is my kid falling behind in youth sports?” maybe the better question is:

“Are we growing, and are we doing it together?”